The Family is the Foundation of Society

A message to my fellow men

You are ordained of God to be the protectors of and providers for women and children. Never hit anyone - especially a woman or child.  Treat everyone with respect at all times.      

If you father a child you are responsible for the care, protection, and nurturing of that child for the next 18 years at least. You are also responsible to care for and assist the mother during pregnancy and the rest of her life.



God created us as men and women, in his image in a spiritual sense. He established marriage between a man and a woman committing to each other for life to reflect the commitment God makes to his people to be with us in this life and us to be with Him in the next.

The sociological evidence is overwhelming that children brought up by their two biological parents do better in life although there will always be exceptions. There are many who are solo parents through illness, accident, desertion, or other reasons and do a fabulous job of raising their children, often in difficult circumstances. Many do not.

The University of Otago multidisciplinary longitudinal  study of over 1,000 people born in Dunedin in 1972-1973 shows that, “Young children's self control skills – such as conscientiousness, self discipline, and perseverance - predict their health, wealth and criminal history in later life regardless of IQ or social background. Even small improvements in self control for children and adolescents could yield important reductions in costs of healthcare, welfare dependency, and crime, with less physical problems, substance dependency, money mismanagement, solo parenthood, and criminal convictions. (Press release 25 January, 2011)

We will never resolve our social problems by throwing more money at them or providing harsher penalties, more treatment centres, or more counsellers. They will only be resolved when people decide they will not commit crime, do not need artificial stimuli, and will treat all others with respect.

If every person chose their partner carefully, committed to each other for life, and brought up children in that caring, nurturing, and positive role modelling environment at least 70% of our social problems would be solved. Our prison population would be more than halved, and taxes would be reduced by at least $12 billion per year!

This is not unrealistic, pie in the sky, impossible, judgmental, not the way it is, or any of the other excuses I have heard many times to avoid asking the most important question: IS IT TRUE?

Marriage and divorce

Jesus was asked: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” Jesus replied “God made them male and female from the beginning of creation. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Mark 10 v 2-9 (abridged)

Adultery is the ultimate human betrayal in the eyes of God. 

The prophet Malachi wrote 2,500 years ago (chapter 2 v 14-16) ago: You cry out "Why doesn't the Lord accept me?" I will tell you.  "Because the Lord witnessed the vows you made with your wife when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the Lord make you one with your wife? Guard your heart and remain loyal to the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce says the Lord, the God of israel. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty", says the Lord Heaven's Armies.So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife."

We were designed by God to abstain from sex outside of marriage and be faithful within it. God gave us our hormones as the greatest test of our self control!! No more rape or roastbusters, no more STD's or unwanted pregnancies, if we follow the simple instruction

Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your sisters Timothy 5 v 2

Give honour to marriage., and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.   Hebrews 13 v 4 


Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.     Ephesians 5 v 25.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself.                                                Ephesians 5 v 33                                         

You husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be physically weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner.                                       1 Peter 3 v 7

Husbands love your wives and never treat them harshly.          Colossians 3 v 19.



If every man and every woman chose their partner carefully, committed to each other for life and brought up children in that nurturing, caring, and positive role modelling environment 70% of our social problems would be over! Our prison population would be more than halved, and taxes would be reduced by at least $12 billion per year.


Three keys to a successful marriage 





A useful weekly task for both partners in a marriage - do an audit

How am I helping my spouse ;







An extensive study in 2017 of those who had divorced showed that 80% of those surveyed regretted 5 years after their divorce that they had not tried to keep their marriage and improve it. The grass is not always greener on the other side.  

For those who have decided to stay together 'for the sake of the kids' that is a very worthy decision but for your own sake, your kids sake, and for heavens sake (I say that advisedly) decide to make the rest of your life the best years ever, and take the steps needed to make them so. Your kids will love you for it.  

Life, love, and marriage are to be enjoyed, not endured.





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